why she isnt PINGING u back

Texting to most girls is not just a matter of practicality or organisation, it’s a way of life, a way to stay in touch with the world and above all, a way of determining whether he’s second date material. You may not be aware of this dear men, but we can determine an awful lot about you, purely by how you text. Here are the reasons that she isn’t texting you back. Good luck with that….

1) She’s Trying To Appear Cool

Too many years of reading Cosmopolitan has moulded us into thinking that we must wait approximately 2.36 hours before replying to a “how are you?”text. The reason for this is that we want to appear cool, busy and not too eager. To us, this makes perfect, logical sense.

2) She’s Texting Another Man

Sorry babes, turns out she’s merely using you as a warm up, the schneaky little divil has another man up her sleeve. Perhaps more than one. Perhaps she has a whole array of men just waiting for her at the other end of the phone line. Don’t be another piece of her sex puzzle.

3) She’s Bitching About You To Her Female Friends

She’s probably sitting around with her girlfriends and telling them what a useless piece of crap you are, in fact, according to them she should just quit while she’s ahead and go find herself a real man, one who rings her every night to lavish her with attention and neediness. You’ll never, ever win this battle.

4) You’re Annoying Her

Stop being such an eager beaver and step away from the phone. Whilst you may think that texting her on the hour, every hour, is really what she wants, unless she’s somewhat psychopathic, she probably does not. Yes, it’s nice to hear from someone every so often, but not every few minutes. If she isn’t replying, then you’re probably texting too often.

5) She’s Trying To Teach You A Lesson

If you’ve really crossed the line by, for example, not daring to inform her of your plans for next Tuesday week, then she shall extract revenge by doing what girls do best, giving you the cold shoulder. In text form this means that she won’t text for hours and hours and when she eventually does, it’s likely to include the words “fine” or “kk” or k. Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiit.

6) Your Grammar Is Pretty Bad

Not an issue for everyone, but a major one for some people. ‘You’ has three letters, don’t forget the ‘yo’ please. Phones nowadays tend to have full keyboards after all, those few extra little letters could spell the difference between love and hate.

7) She Doesn’t Like You That Much

She may not be that into you. Perhaps at first you were an endless source of fascination, perhaps at first she was really drunk, perhaps your amazing sense of humour doesn’t translate well through text. Perhaps she actually hates you, but is far too polite to say so. Perhaps you should go away.

8) She Really Likes You

On the flip side of the above point, she might be really into you, so much so that she doesn’t want to appear overly keen and scare you away. There’s nothing worse than appearing clingy, unless of course you’re both quite happy to be clung to. In which case, get clinging.

9) She Doesn’t Remember Meeting You

This has happened to the best and the worst of us. You meet someone on a night out, talk enough shite to sink a ship, swap saliva, swap numbers, she forgets it happens. You text her. She has no idea who you are other than “Pub Man”, which is how she has you saved in her phone. Well this is awkward. You must have really made an impression…