Sunday, 2 November 2014

Before you walk down the aisle…

When a couple agree to walk down the aisle, there are some issues to consider. Take time to reflect on this checklist
Family ties
How your partner relates with the opposite sexes in his family could be a pointer to how he would relate with you. A lady who respects her father and brothers would definitely respect you as a husband. If your partner gets physical with his sisters, he may continue with you once you are married. Also, how do your intending in-laws behave towards you? How does your partner act around your family and friends? That could determine how successful your marriage will be.
Financial responsibility
Maturity or age is not the only requirements for marriage. One’s economic power also determines if a man is ready to marry or not. Financial instability is one of the major causes of broken marriages. It is safer to delay the marriage until both parties are financially stable. Also, how prudent is your partner? If you are extravagant, you may want to stay away from someone who is also extravagant, except if you have mutually decided to go bankrupt.
Temperament
People’s disposition towards issues should determine if you would marry them or not. Opposites attract. It is always advisable to marry someone who is not of the same temperament with you. That way, you would complement each other strongly. How does your partner handle issues? How effective can he/she control anger? Consider these.
Plans for future
It is always advisable to marry someone who has the same vision of the future with you. Take into consideration the vision your partner has for the future. Are they in line with yours? Do you want to have kids immediately after the wedding when your partner may not want any kids at all? Set short and long term goals and make sure they are in line with those of your partner.
Emotional maturity
Needless to say, you should get married to someone you are emotionally attached to. Not only should your partner be mature, also make sure he/she is emotionally able to handle whatever comes out of the union. Marriage is a life time affair, and for better or worse.
Motives
Surprisingly, the motive for wanting to get married may be different from that of your partner. You may be getting married because you love your partner, whereas your partner is only getting married out of desperation. Get to figure out if you are you getting married to each other for the same reasons.
Relationship history
Your partner may tell you that the past has been buried, but how he/she fared in that relationship might be a determining factor to the outcome or success of the union. Old habits do not die young and chances are that he/she would bring them into your union. Be sure to clear this air before you move on.
Background check
Before you propose to that lady or say yes to that man, carry out your background check to be certain that all the stories you were fed are true. Your intending spouse does not have to know about it and this should not stop you from building the trust either.
Medical fitness
Although medicine has clearly evolved and provided solution to most ailments, it is advisable to marry someone who is medically compatible with you. You may not have to spend too much money maintaining and sustaining yourselves health wise. Also, ascertaining your medical fitness gives you an idea of what to avoid or expect if you decide to go on with the marriage.
When you trust your spouse
You do not hide things from her. The wife on the other hand, should have faith in her husband. She should not be a nagging type. She should also be the proverbial virtuous woman and offer support where it is needed. The couple should be contented with what they have and not spend money because they see others doing so.
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