Man Sues Wife Over Ugly Children, Judge Orders Wife To Pay $120,000

A man, Jian Feng reportedly suedhis wife for giving birth to what he called an “incredibly ugly” girl.“I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues. Our daughter was incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrified me.”Initially Jian accused his wife of infidelity because he knew he could never be the father of an unattractive child. However, DNAtests proved that the child was indeed his. Feng’s wife then came clean and admitted she had about $100,000 worth of cosmetic surgery done in South Korea before they met.Feng sued his wife on grounds of false pretenses, for not telling him the truth about the plastic surgery, and duping him into believing that she was beautiful. A judge agreed with Feng’s argument and ordered his wife topay $120,000.

My First Time In A Cinema...... True story

Whenever I do something for the first time, I like to restrict my company to me, myself and I to minimise the chances of awkward moments.

I asked one of friends for cinema tips and she told me I would be needing at least N5000 if I wanted to have a good time.

This happened way back in 2011 and 5K was definitely going to drain my monthly feeding allowance.
I thought of letting the idea slide until those hard-working Alaba boys compress recent premiered movies into their 100 naira DVD.

"Give me a breakdown of this 5K?" I asked my friend enthusiastically.
"I know say you na bike madam but please keep 2.K for cab. 1.5K for your movie ticket. 1K for popcorn and coke."
That was when I vexed.
"So if I don't eat popcorn and drink coke, the movie would not be sweet eh? I thought popcorn is 50-100 Naira?"
She opined that popcorn was necessary if I didn't want to feel left out as I intended going alone.
"Whether you like it or not, you are supposed to chew a few grains every five minutes interval during the movie because everybody would be doing that."

I drew up a new budget but I still couldn't squeeze out that 5k to give myself a treat at the end of the month.
When my BBM contact posted a pm of movie tickets in Silverbird Uyo selling for as low as N100, I went crazy.
The rumours were unbelievable but true.
God bless Governor Akpabio.
This was coming at a time my Uyo based aunt invited me over for holidays. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

But trust humans and their greedy nature.
When I got to Uyo, I procrastinated in hanging out to the cinema until that N100 began to feel like one huge sum of money.
"Na wa o. Why can't Governor Akpabio slash the money from N100 to N50?" I asked my cousin.
"Haba Naijasinglegirl, don't you have conscience?" A look of disappointment had registered on her face .
"Okay. How much is popcorn? I'm sure its N30 if a movie ticket is N100."
"Its still N500 please."
"Na wa o. So this 419 popcorn is everywhere abi? Coke nko?" I asked.
"N250."
"Rubbish!"

When my holiday was 3 days due, I didn't need anyone to remind me why I visited to Uyo.

* * *

Half way to the cinema, the N700 cab I took developed a fault and the driver had to brake somewhere to fix it. Fortunately, he parked his vehicle beside a corn/pear vendor.
I alighted and bought two roasted corns and pears.
I had was chewing my corn quietly when I sighted a small supermarket across the road. I wrapped the remaining pear/corn for my nephew and crossed over.
When I got there, I found macro sized wraps of popcorn by the counter.
Suddenly, an idea struck me. I was going to take the N100 promo to a whole new level. If this cinema people thought they could eat my money and run, they were in for a shocker!
"How much is your popcorn?"
"N100 for one nylon."
I strolled over to the refrigerator.
"Do you have coke?"
"Just the canned coke."
"Give me Lacasera then."
The seller didn't have N100 change so I told her to add two sachets of caprisonne.
My plans were to find a neat,used paper bag with silverbird logo at the cinema and empty my cheap popcorn inside so everyone will think I bought it there.

When I arrived the cinema, the entire premises was cramped. The awoof bug had caught Uyo. I heard people came in from neighbouring states to enjoy the cheapest movie rates in the world. Some were even sitting on the carpet.
Some had shattered my hopes by stamping their dirty foot on the used popcorn paper packs so my plans were no longer feasible.

I got my N100 ticket for one Adam Sandler's comedy.
As I made to step into the hall, one of the attendants stopped me.
"May I see what's inside your bag."
"Why do you have to search me?" I began to para.
I looked around and noticed others entering other halls were not spared.
He explained that's the new company policy so no one goes in with any item that is not sold at silverbird. According to him, the price slash had led to an abuse of the arena as someone was caught eating from a foodflask of goat meat some days back and now there was a big rat they've been trying to kill in the cinema without success.

That was when my silly roasted corn decided to smell!
The attendant forcefully unzipped my half open bag and brought out my nonsense items one by one starting with the pear.
I just wanted the ground to swallow me. How was I going to start explaining izzz nottt myyy roasted cornnn eh? Abi the Lacsera that is meant only for traffic? Abi the mama ronke popcorn in my bag or is it the cheap caprisonne?

The guy was shocked. He put all my items into a basket and told me he would hand them back when I was done with the movie. If only he knew I dashed him all of it in my mind.

I couldn't concentrate on my movie. Adam Sandler was suddenly unfunny and annoying. All I thought of was how I was going to subtly dodge the attendant on my way out.
As soon as the movie ended, I blended in with crowd going out but the busybody attendant was still able to pick me out.
"Brother, you've forgotten your corn and pear oh" He said, while he handed me the Lacasera and other items in the full glare of all those hot boys and hot girls.
I collected it shamefully and avoided everyone eyes. My only consolation was no familiar face was present to witness that sort of embarrassment.

Delayed Tins (+18)

She called that she was downstairs, Ireally wanted to believe but the fact is she had cancelled parole at the last minute several times atleast 7 times. Did I really want her to come? Yes, absolutely. Was I sure she was downstairs, Maybe and maybe not butI seriously wanted her to come.The truth is I played my cards right, I was a gentleman, I was helpful at the points where I should be, its justthat it seems like she isn’t ready yet. By ready yet, I mean to come over, I had already been to her place like 3 times, spent time with her friends, made out a few times but notas much as we both wanted.I rushed to the balcony of my house and looked below, I saw a car at the front of my gate with a light skin lady in front beside the driver. I dressed up and went downstairs. I ushered her upstairs, we went straight for the bedroom.She claimed to be tired and dove straight into bed after removing her sandals, she was a beauty to behold, petite with boobs larger than her body. My goodness, this evening just got more interesting. We laid side by side on the bed looking at the ceiling, talking and enjoying the warm reminiscent of her room mates, describing the ones with boyfriends issues. A little back story, her friend hooked us up, she claimed she gave the best blowjob in town.In my usual randy way, I tried to hook up with her but she claimed bornagain, my initial knowledge of her is that she was a runz girl. I tried to relate with her on that level and I was dealt a huge blow, she insulted me like mad, so I apologised and stepped back. There is nothing that aa few weeks of quiet can’t resolve.A few months down the line, we were back talking and began our loving you things.lolI had visited and things were on track just that we never ever got her to coming over because she knew we would have sex, I kept my calm. This would explain my not so enthusiastic feeling about her sayingshe was downstairs.Being with her here is actually more fun than I expected, the gist got funnier and the atmosphere got moresensual, I moved closer to her, she faced me and our lips found each other in a slow, wet kiss. It felt better than those ones we had while we were in her house. Our tongues continued to explore each other’s mouths in what I can only define as incredible.She wore a light transparent flimsy shirt, my hands softly rubbed her face, held face closer to mine, before going down into her chest, those boobs were waiting for my hands, I ran my hands slowly all over them. I unbuttoned the shirts while my tongue was still in her mouth.My hand began probing inside her bra to bring out the goodies, she didn’t interrupt me, it felt like everything is fine as long as she had my lips to kiss.My lips moved from her lips to her earlobes, sucking and licking them intermittently, the tip of my tongue trailing down her body to her chest, Ipulled down her bra, a huge mound of her boobs was revealed, I sucked round her areola before slapping my tongue back and forth over her nipples.As my tongue continued sucking and licking, the nipples began to harden, she began to moan, pulling my body deeper into her body, I pulled down the bra on the other side of her boobs, and moved my mouth to the other nipple. Softly and gently licking the tip of the nipple, like the dog licks water. The faster I licked, the more moans increased, as her moans increased, her body began to move , urging me to continue sucking more. She dragged my head off her chest brought it back to her face, kissing me like her life depended on it.She took her tongue on licking spree,licking my eyes, my forehead, my teeth, I allowed my already bulging erection to rub gently against her inner thighs. She positioned my body better in between her thighs, pushedmy face further into her chest, my mouth got a hold of one nipple, sucked and licked as much as I could.The feeling was getting me more excited, her moans dint stop, she locked me in between her thighs. she crossed her legs over me, making sure I stayed put where I was, sucking the nipples like its my job, I enjoyed the job thoroughly.At intervals when the sensation getsinto her brain, she would lift her head up from the bed, kiss my forehead. She untangled her legs, I got off her and laid down, that was when the jolly ride began.She got unto and asked for my condom, I brought out one from my bedside drawer, she put it by the side, she climbed ontop of me and put my hands over themselves and tuckedthem underneath my head, secret code for don’t get involved in this.I waited patiently, as she removed allher attires leaving only her panties on, she started by kissing my forehead, to my nose, to my lips for quite a while. She proceeded downwards, I started to get excited because I knew she would finally get to my dick, and then I can judge if she was as great as she acclaimed to be.Before she got to my John Thomas, she made a bit of a detour to my nipples, the way she used the flat part of her tongue and tip of her tongue made me see stars, It added an incredible percentage to my already turned on state.She unbuttoned my jeans, and pulled it down to my knees along side my boxer, freeing the monster. Expertly, manoeuvring her hands, she grabbed my dick, stroked it back and forth, squeezed it and stroked it upward, my pre-come oozed out of the tip, she sucked it off and swallowed it.Goodness me!!!! I was wowed by her performance and she hadn’t even started, she kissed and licked the tip of my dick. She rubbed the tip of her tongue over the pee hole of my dick and slowly sucked my dick down her throat. Unknowingly, with my hands underneath my head, a wide smile appeared on my face.She began to to burp up and down the dick, sucking it with pleasure, spitting at it, grabbing the dick, stroking it first, my hips were turning and jerking of their own accord, it was unprecedented. All i wanted to do right now is hold her head, and thrust my dick further intoher mouth, let it get down there. I held up my end of the bargain, she sucked me and sucked me, I was blownaway by her skills, my ball bags weren’t left out, careful detailing with the tip of the tongue, she was an expert in the use of the tip of the tongue.After the torment with her mouth, she moved her panty to the side, made my dick flat against my belly, she began to rub her pussy lips against my hard dick, I watched her do this while marvelling at the ernomous size of the boobs that shook as the moved back and forth on my dick. I was sweet, my prayers were answered when she pulled out one of my arms from me and attachedto one of her boobs.I was a happy man, I removed the second and grabbed her ass, and pressed it deeper as she slid back andforth on my dick, her hands were on my chest for balance as her waist rolled over my turgid dick, her moans became louder, I could feel my dick wetter than normal, she grabbed the condom, tore it open and put it on, and glided her pussy into my dick, riding me, the pussy was exactly how i needed it to be, free and tight at the same time.She began to ride harder and harder, my hands still strategically placed, one on her boobs, the other on her ass, pulling her deeper into my dick. One of her hands was by the other side of her waist while one was in thehair, the feeling and the ecstacy wasbeyond what I could comprehend, the feeling overshadowed whatever was going around my surrounding. I shot my cum deep into the condom but continued to fuck her, her intensity became higher, she was fucking me to free up her pussy, she continued to go wilder and wilder until she cum, with sweat soaked face, she kissed me wet, I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it.She climbed down off of me and disappeared into the bathroom, I wasn’t sure if to tell her friend that she was right about her friend or just let it slide. Whichever way, my night was surely well spent, it was worth all the wait.