12 Types Of People You Will Meet On Election Day

As we all know that the election is just tomorrow, and there are categories of people we are going to meet on that day and i bring to you, the 10 types of people we are going to meet at the polling unit on election day;

1 The gentlemen/ladies
These are the types of people the will visit the polling unit just to fulfil their mission which is to vote peacefully and after that, go back to their home without any problem. 
2 The elders
These people(mostly men) are always between the age 70-80+ you will always find them sitting under a tree or any shaded area within the polling centre lecturing young men about the history of politics and how the country was going from bad to good and vice versa.

3 The I Too Know (ITKs)
These are the categories of people that you will see jumping from one place to the other as if they are INEC chairman. You will never see them at rest, they can even go to the extent of teaching the INEC officials their works.

4 The ushers
You will always see these categories of people on the queue looking very quiet but when they see a person trying to manipulate the queue, they will just walk to him/her and say something like "Oga, please go and join the queue at the back, we that have being on the line are not animals" they will never leave you until you do the needful. 

5 The coordinators
They are more like the ushers but something special about them is that they are not always on the queue, if they see you trying to sneak into the queue, they will just appear from nowhere and say "hey" then point to the back, due to the fear that you don't know the kind of person they are, you will port to the back with immediate effect.

6 The confused ones
Looking at them only, you will deduce that they are confused. They will always be looking as if someone is about to kidnap them or you will always see them asking questions silly like "Brother, will they collect this PVC from us after we are through?" or "Sister, shebi Buhari the PDP presidential candidate?" They are always annoying. 

7 The VIPs
These are always the big men of the hood, they will just drive down to the polling unit with their expensive ride and walk up to the INEC officials with a bottle water in their hands and do all the necessary stuffs and drive back home immediately 

8 The spacebookers
I usually wonder if that's what they do to make money on that day or they are just naturally mumus. They will be on the queue for hours and when it's almost their turn to vote, someone will just come from nowhere and take their place then you will see them leaving. 

9 The lookers/observers
Some are not even there to vote but to watch people arguing or fighting, you will always see them at alert with their phones getting ready to snap/video any funny or fist throwing event that takes place at the unit. 

10 The fighters
Their own mission is to come and cause violence at the polling unit, they will mistakenly hit you or march you, instead of saying sorry, they will turn it to fight. Be careful when dealing with them

11 The traders
I usually love the courage of these people coz any opportunity they see, they will use it to promote their business. You will see them early in the morning already offloading bags of pure water, snacks, groundnut, coolers of rice and other foods some will even bring their tables to roast boli(roasted plantains) at the polling unit, they are always desperate to make money.

12 The pickpocketers
One of my teachers defined them as "Dem no be thieves ooo but if they pass, something go lost". All they need to do is to just look at your pocket and they will explore everything inside it then you will see them passing your side 24/7 or trying to form familiarity with you, my brother be watchful or else they will steal you sef.

keep calm and vote wisely
May God help us

Dirty Talk: How To Perfect Your Technique…

So you wanna up your dirty talk game, eh? Admirable. If you’ve already experienced dirty talk, you’ll know that sometimes it can get pretty embarrassing. We’ve already saved lives with our helpful guides to BJs, HJs, and handling the ol’ danglers; now we’re upskilling you in sexual oration. Before your next foray into dirty talk, take into consideration the following factors:

1) Establish if they’re into it or not…

You need to know if you’ve got a Grade-A, top-choice filth monger on your hands before you go dropping D-talk on their asses. There are a lot of prudes out there who will want none of your devil-talk sullying their innocent ears.

2) Know the right time to start

Try to set the tone as early as possible in the relationship. If it’s a one-night stand, you have nothing to lose by going full-throttle erotic narrator, but it’s different if you’re in a relationship. Ideally you’ll get into the swing of it from the first time you have sex, but it may be jarring if you’re been going out awhile and you suddenly start talking like a porn star. Just gently ease into it, a little bit here and there until you’re both on the same wavelength. Once you get going you’ll wonder how you ever went without it.

3) Volume control

Everybody loves a bit of loud fuckin’, but please do not scream your dirty talk. The last thing you want is your neighbours repeating back some of your filthiest lines (e.g. “Fuck me like you’ve paid for me”) the next time you’re taking out the bins. Or worse, your flatmates posting it on Facebook.

4) Don’t overdo it

In our piece on the unspoken rules of sex, we’ve already discussed that you do not want to be unintentionally hilarious in the bedroom. Less is more folks, if you find yourself talking a lot during the bumping of uglies, you’re probably doing it disasterously wrong.

5) Know where the line is

If there’s one thing worse than being hilarious during dirty talk, it’s being a freak. And not the good kind of freak. If you go full-on pervert your sexytime companion may not want to come back for seconds. Know the line and do not cross it.

unspoken desire ..... Her story pt3 (+18)

Susan was a 2nd year Biochemistry student in the faculty when I first met her. My course mates were having a lecture in a particular lecture hell I didn’t know about since I was a newbie.

I had already stumbled into two lectures that weren’t meant for me that morning and had just stumbled into the third. The lecture hall was not enough for the students as there were even more standing than those sitting. She was the closest person standing next to me so I tapped her and asked her what lecture was being held there.

She smiled at me and suddenly I felt a flutter in my stomach. She had such a gracious smile, she left the hall to come speak to me outside. She asked my name, I told her. She asked my department and level and I told her, wondering why she needed all that information to tell me what lecture was being held in that hall.

She smiled again and told me that 1st year students hardly had any lectures in the faculty building. Most of our lectures were held in the ETF building which was almost at the other end of the campus. I gave up on going for the lecture altogether, instead of Susan to go back into the hall she decided to shun the lecture and give me a personal tour of the campus, showing me all the buildings and telling me their real names and their short or abbreviated names.

I kept my eyes on her lips while she talked. They were not so full but not so small, just perfect. Her lips reminded me of Chi, my school mother. They both half-smiled with the left side of their lips… their chubby cheeks revealing a beautiful dimple.

I suddenly felt an urge to stop her in her tracks and plant a kiss on her lips like I’d done with Chi. My heart pumped erratically for a moment and I thought I actually would. I somehow managed to keep my lips to myself. I wasn’t even sure if she was into girls like I was. What if she hated lesbians? What if she was one of those girls I had heard about who reportedly ganged up on a couple of girls having sex and beat them with slippers and belts?

I walked around with Susan for a little more than an hour before she asked me what If I would like to go get lunch. I looked at her skeptically and asked her why she was being so nice to me.

She told me it was because I was a newbie and she was bored.  That in fact, I had in a way rescued her from that very boring lecture. I laughed, I told her I would like to go get lunch. And we did. That first lunch together marked the beginning of the long friendship we had together.

Susan treated me like a sister, the more time we spent together endeared me even more towards her. She’d never told me about a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I had chosen not to ask. She had never asked me about my love life and I had never bothered to tell.

One day, when I went to visit her and saw a guy in her apartment. He sat on the only available chair while she sat on the bed with her legs crossed and her stuffed teddy held between her folded hands. She was casually dressed, in a t-shirt and kneelength shorts, and she talked with easiness. I gestured to her that I’d be in the kitchen even though I eavesdropped on everything they were talking about. The dude’s name was Danny and he’d been asking her out since first year. Susan told him she’d always liked him like a friend and could never feel anything more than that for him and begged him to understand.

I was giggling when I heard the way she pleaded with him. In a way I felt sorry for Danny, even though I shouldn’t be seeing as he was trying to take away something from me while I was there thinking I heard Susan say there was someone else she had fallen in love with and there was no space in her heart for him. I stood there thinking about her words. She had fallen in love with someone else? Who could the guy be? Probably one of her course mates. I made a mental note to ask her when Danny left since she’d obviously wanted me to hear it.

Susan joined me in the kitchen and we both prepared semo with egusi soup and ate while we sat down at the small kitchen table. She’d been telling me about Danny and how good he was at Chemistry and how he’d been coaching her in a course she’d never really liked but she could never date him because she had no feelings towards him.

I took the opportunity to ask about the person she’d told him she’d fallen in love with. She paused in mid-chew, her eyes fixed on her plate of egusi soup. I frowned and observed her, a moment of silence passed between us and I could hear my heart beating faster than usual. Finally, she looked up at me and smiled her usual half-smile. She told me it was someone special and she would tell me later. I asked her to at least tell me if ‘he’ was one of her coursemates. Susan got up, picked her  dishes and went to the sink. She put on the tap before asking me this question.

“What makes you think it’s a guy?”

I literally felt my heart explode within my chest. My whole body suddenly became so hot, the delicious plate of Egusi soup before me suddenly became so disgusting. The only appealing thing to me right now was Susan washing her dishes in the sink wearing a t-shirt and jean shorts that showed of her wonderful butt. I didn’t even know what to say. Susan realizing what she must have done to me with her last question turned and said to me.

“Jenny. You don’t have to keep it a secret with me anymore. I’ve seen the way you look at me and I know the way you feel about me.  I want to tell you that I feel the same about you too.”

I felt a tingling between my legs as she spoke those words. I couldn’t even utter  a word, I just stood up, walked quickly to where she stood and kissed her deeply. I didn’t care that my hands were soiled, or that both our mouths tasted of soup. I kissed her so deeply.

She held me so tight and returned my kisses, her tongue finding mine and our breasts crushing into each other. Susan suddenly swung me around and made me rest on the edge of the sink while she used her hands to drag my skirt up. Her fingers were quick and before I could gasp they were already pushing my underwear to the side and fondling my pussy. She kissed me while she finger fucked me with her middle finger.

I gasped with each thrust of her hand. Her tongue was deep in my mouth. Her other hand holding my hair. I’d looked at Susan all this time as a gentle lady who when making love would be gentle and slow but she was nothing like I’d expected. She quickly dropped to her knees, placed my left leg over her shoulder and proceeded to eat me out like I’d never been eaten before. Her tongue went deep inside me, slurping at the juices that oozed out of my pussy. I felt my knees weaken and felt droplets of tears on my cheeks. It felt so damn good. I wished she would never stop. She stood and told me that she wanted us to go to her bedroom. I nodded my head, still unable to mutter any words. I finally got to wash my hands when we both showered in her bathroom. She stooped once more to eat me out again, and I came again.

She took me to her bed and made me lie down, then she asked me if I’d ever been fucked by a guy before. I remembered Christian and the many times he almost put himself inside of me but I refused for fear of the pain that came with losing my virginity.

Susan reached under her bed and withdrew a small box. She opened the box and my eyes widened. Inside that box were dildos of different kinds which I’d only seen in porn videos. I felt a moment of fear but Susan assured me that the pleasure it would give was quite worth more than the pain, she picked a small one, which she called a vibrator, switched it on and put it on my navel. i felt a sensation that I’d never felt before and my whole body shivered. Then she took it up my body and between my boobs. She got to my neck and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed her hand and directed her back downwards towards my waiting pussy.

The moment the machine brushed past my clit I jerked my waist forward and screamed. Susan used the vibrator on my pussy even more and I came. My pussy leaking with so much wetness. She slowly guided it into me and while my whole body vibrated from pleasure she broke my hymen. I didn’t feel any pain at all. My whole being was still feeling the aftereffects of my orgasm that I didn’t notice. After a while of catching my breath It was time for me to do to Susan all she’d done to me.

First I ate her pussy for all of ten minutes before using the long dildo on her, fucking her while I sucked hard on her nipples. Susan cried while she came. She screamed my name and told me that she loved me.

After that night we became secret lovers. Secret because lesbianism was a crime in the school and anybody caught in the act was either disgraced, raped, half-beaten to death or expelled. Christian kept disturbing me and wanted to know who it was that was my boyfriend that had snatched me away from him. I smiled and never told him the truth because it was one he wouldn’t ever understand. I still felt something for him but I could never bring myself to letting him stick his dick inside of me.

My pussy was for Susan until she either found someone else or decided she wanted to get married, the funniest thing happened when I finally ended up marrying Christian and cheated on him with his sister

Unspoken Desire. ..... Her story (pt2) +18

I wasn’t prepared at all for what Hannah was about to do to me. She parted my panties quickly and had her tongue inside my pussy. I was backed up against a wall but I felt my knees weaken and thought I was going to collapse from the excitement.

Hannah used her tongue so well on me that I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I had wanted this for so long and here was somebody who was giving me what wanted. She sucked hard on my swollen pussy lips and licked my clit hard while I used one hand to grab her hair and the other grabbing the edge of the wall to keep myself from losing my feet. Hannah had surely done what she was doing before and I could tell.

I suddenly wanted to rip the clothes of her and grab at her boobs, her ass. I wanted to stick my fingers into her pussy, wanted to kiss her all over her body. I wanted to do all these things at the same time but I couldn’t because soon we heard laughter from some students not far away – probably another couple looking for a secluded place to do their own thing – and Hannah quickly jumped out from beneath my skirt, grabbed my arm and we ran away from the place giggling.

I and Hannah played with each other intimately at every time we could. Sometimes she would run her fingers up my legs and guide them under my skirt of my school uniform while we were learning about balancing equations in Chemistry class or about Aguiyi Ironsi in Government class.

I would giggle slightly and try to make her stop and we would attract a little attention but nobody knew what was really happening. We had gotten so close that we were almost inseparable. I was enjoying our friendship till Hannah told me one day that she loved me and wanted us to be best friends and lovers forever. I liked girls then but not as much as I do now and wasn’t sure about a future where I wouldn’t be married to a man. It was a bit confusing for me but Hannah told me not to worry about it.

There I was thinking what I had with Hannah was the best thing that had happened to me until the day I found her between another girl’s thighs. She’d asked me if I would be going for our usual night reading sessions but I had preferred to read in the dormitory. I later began to miss her and decided to go join her at our usual secluded reading spot where we did a few forbidden things to each other only to get there and find her doing to someone else something that she should’ve been doing to me. I felt so weak. I cried all week. After she’d told me she loved me and wanted us to be friends and lovers forever. It felt real painful but I managed to put myself together and focus on getting good grades in my exams. I was never close to Hannah again after that. She tried to apologize and I told her I’d forgiven her but we couldn’t even be friends, talk less, be lovers.

In SS3, I decided to see what all the fuss about guys and their dicks were about. There was no week I didn’t get an advance from some SS3 or brave SS2 boy who thought I was calm and coolheaded enough to approach. I was still technically a virgin because according to popular gossip amongst girls you were still a virgin until a guy’s penis is forced into your vagina and you experience the pain and pleasure and a small amount of blood comes out of you. I had gotten to an age in my life were I decided to be a little adventurous just so I could say I’d tasted both girls and guys so I could decide which I really wanted. I never planned to give my heart to a boy like I’d done to Hannah so I was never expecting to get hurt.

Christian was one of the very few guys I was close with in SS3. He was an intelligent guy because he was the math, chemistry and physics teachers’ favourite student. He would have been the male Head Student but he declined the offer for reasons he would later explain to me. He never dressed like those other guys who sagged their trousers and wore belts with different kind of buckle heads. He was so simple and yet so sophisticated for a boy of 16. I was older than him but I never told him that. Sometimes he sounded so wise that people would think he was older than the rest of his peers when he was amongst the three youngest students in the class.

Christian began to want to talk to me a lot about so many different things and it happened that we both shared an interest in espionage novels by Ludlum and Le Carre. We would sit for long periods talking about characters from different books. He made me laugh so hard a few times that I felt embarrassed but in a good way. I later realized that I’d developed a fondness for him, and he, for me.

One day, when Christian asked me why I was no longer hanging out with Hannah. I was shocked. I wondered how he of all people would’ve noticed such a thing. I asked him why he asked. He then leaked to me a secret conversation amongst the boys that Hannah was a lesbian and had been corrupting so many girls since she came into the school at JS2. He also told me that Hannah had been reported to the principal more than once but had only received stern warnings and light punishments because her father was a close friend to the directress and one of the school’s top donators. i told him that I stopped hanging out with Hannah because I didn’t want her to corrupt me too. Immediately I told him that his eyes lightened up and he smiled from one ear to the other. It occurred to me then that he really liked me but had probably been skeptical about letting me know because he thought I was only into girls. I had just given him the green light.

Long story short, Christian finally told me how he felt about me. I liked him as a friend and didn’t want to put the burden of rejection upon his young, intelligent mind so I told him to let me think about it. that was when his beautifully crafted love letters began to be passed to me. I would read them and giggle at the words that were so funny to me. I was now a complete secondary school girl who received love letters from a boy just as I had been hearing other girls do. I finally sent Christian a reply that I accepted to be his girlfriend. He was so happy that he used the lunch money he’d been saving to buy me a watch.  He took me to that secluded area I’d gone to with Hannah so many times and gave it to me. I showed him my appreciation by hugging him and kissing him. He was a bit taller than me but I didn’t have to be on my toes to kiss him. He wasn’t sure what to do so I took his hands and placed them on my butt. He hesitated for a moment before he squeezed my butt. I laughed. He felt embarrassed, I asked him if that was the first time he’d ever been kissed. He said no, but this was the first time his hands were grabbing a girl’s butt. We both laughed.

After that day we became even closer than before and sneaked out to parts of the school were a boy and a girl shouldn’t be by themselves just so Christian could kiss me and grab my butt as much as he liked until it got to the day when I decided that I’d heard enough from Biodun, the health prefect.

She liked to suck dick, and talk about how she’d sucked her boyfriend’s dick during the holidays till his cum filled her mouth. Most girls considered it gross while others couldn’t wait to try it with boys. I had a boy and was being adventurous so I decided to give Christian such a treat and see how he would react. While we lay on the dry grass at the farthest end of the football field one night, kissing and groping each other, I reached for his fly and undid his zip.

He wasn’t sure what was happening as we had not done that before. His dick was impressive for someone who really didn’t look like he had ever needed to use it before. I had it in my hand, stroking it and suddenly I wasn’t sure what to do with it. Christian didn’t even care what I did with it. He closed his eyes and hissed. The fact that his penis was in a girl’s hand already felt like heaven to him. Biodun’s words came back to me and I could remember her talking about how her boyfriend liked it when she licked the tip of his dick. I took a deep breath before bringing my tongue to taste Christian’s dick. It tasted salty. I spat immediately. I wasn’t quite sure I could do it, what if he came immediately I put his dick in my mouth.

He was practically a virgin waiting to explode. I looked at him again and his eyes were still closed. He probably never thought this evening would get to the part where a girl would suck his dick. Would he boast of it to his other friends? Christian certainly wouldn’t. The fact that he was so smart made other girls rush after him but he’d chosen me out of all of them.

He deserved getting his dick sucked, and I did. Without thinking I put his hard dick inside my mouth and sucked on it. He nearly screamed. I would’ve laughed at him if I didn’t have his dick in my mouth. I slowly bobbed my head as I stroked with my fingers and used my tongue to swirl over his dick. Christian couldn’t contain his excitement. His hips had already began to jerk and his moans got a bit louder.

I sucked him harder and faster, slurping on his penis just as Biodun had explained and I could see that she wasn’t lying about the effect it had on boys. Christian began jerking his waist faster than usual and I could sense that he was about to cum. Before I could decide whether he should cum in my mouth or not Christian disengaged from me and used his hand to stroke his dick so fast until his cum spurted out from it. After he came, he sat there… dick in hand, breathing hard. I used my skirt to wipe my lips and watched him, as he sat there and tried to regain his senses.

SS3 came to an end with me getting very good grades in my WAEC and NECO exams. The UME/JAMB exams were not as good as I’d hoped but I did well enough in my Post UME exams and got admission into the university to study Industrial Chemistry.

Christian ‘smashed’ all his papers, of course, and decided to study Petroleum Engineering in the same university. We planned it. He told me he was getting an apartment and I could visit him any time I wanted to. He obviously couldn’t wait till the day we would lie together in the same bed so he could do to me all the things he had wanted to. But unfortunately, he couldn’t because in the second week of my first year in University… I met Susan. and she made me feel so wet between my thighs.

to be continued

Unspoken Desire ...... Her story (+18)

I have always liked girls more than I like boys. Ever since when I was in Basic five back then in St. Bridget’s primary school and my best friend Shola kissed me. It had lasted just two seconds but I can still remember the brush of her lips on mine. I wasn’t sure what had happened but I liked Shola so much as a friend back then and whatever she did, or told meto do, I would gladly do it.We did almost everything together. Played ‘ten-ten’ and other girly extracurricular activities that was allowed by the school. Shola also likedme very much as she bought sweets and biscuits and shared them with me during break periods. We were such close friends that it really pained me so much when it was time to go to Secondary school and I realized that her parents had engineered for her to go to the Federal Government Girl’s College in her state while my Dad made me go to some boarding school. I cried so much on the last day of school. Shola cried too and toldme that she would try to keep in contact with me. We were just kids but it felt like we’d known each otherfor eternity.I never liked boarding school. Mostly because I hated the boarding uniformI had to wear all week. Asides that, it really wasn’t a terrible place. The proprietor was a short, burly man with a moustache who liked to make us laugh. He could also be very stern when he needed to be. The teachers always tried to be nice towards us. The housemasters were not as nice. They made us do more labour than we needed to. I particularly hated my first three years in boarding school. The senior students treated us like shit most of the time, making us do stuff like fetch their water or wash their clothes. But I didn’t get to suffer that fate because I had a school mother. Chidinma or Senior Chi, as I fondly called her, found me one day sobbing at the back of a classroom during my newbie days. I had remembered the friendship I had with Shola and realized how much I missed it. The thoughts had brought real tears to my eyes. But when Chi asked what was wrong I told her I was homesick and didn’t like the way the seniors treated me. She asked me my name and I told her. She told me my name was beautiful, and told me to stop crying. She gave me her hand and told me that as from that day she would be my mother in school since I missed my mother back at home. I told her that my mother died when I was a child. Her face suddenlychanged and she told me that she losther mother two years ago. I could feel a bond between us that had suddenly been formed just by the fact that we both shared thus motherless fate.Another sad moment for me in this life was when Chi got to SS3 while I was in JS3. She’d written the WAEC and NECO exams and it was time to leave secondary school. I spent nearly all day with her. We spent most of that time sharing different stories about ourselves.She told me about all the SS3 and even some SS2 boys who had been clamouring for her attention. She made fun about them and made me laugh. And after I had laughed, I began to cry again because she was going to be leaving me. She held me inher arms, my head resting on her breasts with my arms around her waist.As I sobbed I inhaled her sweet fragrance, she smelled so nice. She was wearing just a t-shirt and bumshorts, exposing the full length of her thighs to her legs. Her skin was flawless, she was a shade darkerin complexion than me but her beautywas one that I remember to this day as like that of a goddess.I didn’t want to let go of her.I told her that I would go with her or kill myself if I couldn’t, she laughed and told me not to say such a thing, then she held my face in her hands and looked me straight into the eye. I was 13, although I looked much older than my age. She was 17 and she reminded me of Shola. And right then, without thinking, I kissed her on her lips.It lasted a bit more than 2 seconds but I didn’t care. Chi looked at me, surprised, she didn’t expect that, I apologised. She asked me if I liked any boys in my class. I told her all theboys in my class disgusted me. She asked if I liked any girls. I gave her three names. It was then that she realized but she was in SS3 and was leaving. She’d been giving me advice on how to deal with boys for 3 years and now she just found out that I didn’t really like boys.Two years later, I was in SS2, and Hannah, one of the girls in my class and I had become somewhat fond of each other. It had taken me a while to get used to Chi not being around as she’d been my only friend. I opened up a bit to Hannah and we became a pair.We talked together, went to classes together, read together and even bathed together. Once we were both naked in the bathroom as we prepared for school when Hannah told me my boobs were so full and pretty and they made her jealous. Her boobs were okay but mine were inthe early stages of being Double Ds. Itold her that I loved the curve of her inner-thighs and wish mine were like hers, she laughed and asked why since nobody could notice that with her clothes on. I couldn’t answer then Hannah grabbed my buttocks and said that the only things boys loved to see are boobs and ass and girls who had them were goddesses intheir eyes.All I could think of was her hand on my buttocks. I felt my body shiver a little bit and hoped she didn’t notice. I had no idea that she had done that deliberately until later when I realized how she kept touching me atevery opportunity she got. She wouldbrush her hands on my boobs, or placethem on my bared lap. I pretended not to notice and secretly enjoyed these slight touches. Until one night…It had rained all day and the skies were still filled with thunderstorms. Everywhere was cold and the students slept with blankets.I lay in my bed fully awake as I hated thunderstorms and lightning, anticipating the unexpected roar of the next thunder. As I lay there, I sensed a movement towards me then my eye caught something in white moving in the darkness and suddenly Iwas scared. All the stories of bad things that happened to girls in boarding schools suddenly filled my head but it was Hannah and not some evil spirit from a folklore. She told me that she lost her blanket and wondered if she could share mine with me for that night. I hesitated for a bit, so she would feel I was thinking about it when I knew there was nothing to think about.I moved to a side and she joined in. Itwas a small bed and the only way we could lie comfortably on it was if we spooned each other. We both lay on our left sides and since it was my bed and I was taller I spooned her and used the blanket to cover the both ofus. She thanked me, I told her she didn’t need to.The thunders kept roaring and the rain resumed once more. Hannah had shampooed her hair that evening and it smelled nice. Her small bum was in my crotch, my arm around her. I wondered if she was sleeping. I wondered what it would feel like to run my right hand down her body into her crotch and place my fingers in between her thighs.Suddenly, I felt aroused. I’d never been like that with a lady before. I felt my heart pounding. I felt my nipples hardening… and Hannah felt that too. And just like I’d suspected, Hannah began to move. Slowly, Her right hand went under the blanket, she reached for me beneath the blanket. Her hand caressing my legs softly before going upwards and finding my panties.The touch of her hand on me made megasp, she fondled me softly. One finger shifted my panties to a side asshe expertly placed another on my pussy lips. Slowly caressing, before slipping it. I felt so wet all of a sudden.I wanted more.I placed my hand on her boobs and squeezed. She moaned slightly, Hannah’s fingers were playing with my clitoris and fucking me at the same time and I felt my hips moving to her touch. She increased the speed of her hands and I felt my body shiver, not from the cold, but from the pleasure.I raised my right leg and placed it over hers, giving her more room to dowhat she was doing. I could feel a sensation coming over me and I didn’twant it to stop, Hannah suddenly stopped.I wondered why she did, then I heard the sound. Someone else was awake and walking around. In my state of desire I had become deaf to the roar of the thunder and the drumming of the rain on the roof. We both lay as still as we could. Hannah slowly withdrew her hand from my crotch while I withdrew mine from her boobs. Hannah giggled, and so did I.None of us wanted to get caught doing the thing that had gotten two girls expelled last week.The next day Hannah and I decided to take a stroll just by ourselves and wefound a very secluded part of the school where we were quite sure no one would find us. Hannah grabbed meand kissed me.She kissed me with her lips, her tongue and even her teeth. She told me she had wanted to kiss me since we were in JS3. I returned her kissesand just as I thought the kissing had satisfied me Hannah dropped to her knees in seconds and was under my skirt.To be continued…

Man Sues Wife Over Ugly Children, Judge Orders Wife To Pay $120,000

A man, Jian Feng reportedly suedhis wife for giving birth to what he called an “incredibly ugly” girl.“I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues. Our daughter was incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrified me.”Initially Jian accused his wife of infidelity because he knew he could never be the father of an unattractive child. However, DNAtests proved that the child was indeed his. Feng’s wife then came clean and admitted she had about $100,000 worth of cosmetic surgery done in South Korea before they met.Feng sued his wife on grounds of false pretenses, for not telling him the truth about the plastic surgery, and duping him into believing that she was beautiful. A judge agreed with Feng’s argument and ordered his wife topay $120,000.

My First Time In A Cinema...... True story

Whenever I do something for the first time, I like to restrict my company to me, myself and I to minimise the chances of awkward moments.

I asked one of friends for cinema tips and she told me I would be needing at least N5000 if I wanted to have a good time.

This happened way back in 2011 and 5K was definitely going to drain my monthly feeding allowance.
I thought of letting the idea slide until those hard-working Alaba boys compress recent premiered movies into their 100 naira DVD.

"Give me a breakdown of this 5K?" I asked my friend enthusiastically.
"I know say you na bike madam but please keep 2.K for cab. 1.5K for your movie ticket. 1K for popcorn and coke."
That was when I vexed.
"So if I don't eat popcorn and drink coke, the movie would not be sweet eh? I thought popcorn is 50-100 Naira?"
She opined that popcorn was necessary if I didn't want to feel left out as I intended going alone.
"Whether you like it or not, you are supposed to chew a few grains every five minutes interval during the movie because everybody would be doing that."

I drew up a new budget but I still couldn't squeeze out that 5k to give myself a treat at the end of the month.
When my BBM contact posted a pm of movie tickets in Silverbird Uyo selling for as low as N100, I went crazy.
The rumours were unbelievable but true.
God bless Governor Akpabio.
This was coming at a time my Uyo based aunt invited me over for holidays. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

But trust humans and their greedy nature.
When I got to Uyo, I procrastinated in hanging out to the cinema until that N100 began to feel like one huge sum of money.
"Na wa o. Why can't Governor Akpabio slash the money from N100 to N50?" I asked my cousin.
"Haba Naijasinglegirl, don't you have conscience?" A look of disappointment had registered on her face .
"Okay. How much is popcorn? I'm sure its N30 if a movie ticket is N100."
"Its still N500 please."
"Na wa o. So this 419 popcorn is everywhere abi? Coke nko?" I asked.
"N250."
"Rubbish!"

When my holiday was 3 days due, I didn't need anyone to remind me why I visited to Uyo.

* * *

Half way to the cinema, the N700 cab I took developed a fault and the driver had to brake somewhere to fix it. Fortunately, he parked his vehicle beside a corn/pear vendor.
I alighted and bought two roasted corns and pears.
I had was chewing my corn quietly when I sighted a small supermarket across the road. I wrapped the remaining pear/corn for my nephew and crossed over.
When I got there, I found macro sized wraps of popcorn by the counter.
Suddenly, an idea struck me. I was going to take the N100 promo to a whole new level. If this cinema people thought they could eat my money and run, they were in for a shocker!
"How much is your popcorn?"
"N100 for one nylon."
I strolled over to the refrigerator.
"Do you have coke?"
"Just the canned coke."
"Give me Lacasera then."
The seller didn't have N100 change so I told her to add two sachets of caprisonne.
My plans were to find a neat,used paper bag with silverbird logo at the cinema and empty my cheap popcorn inside so everyone will think I bought it there.

When I arrived the cinema, the entire premises was cramped. The awoof bug had caught Uyo. I heard people came in from neighbouring states to enjoy the cheapest movie rates in the world. Some were even sitting on the carpet.
Some had shattered my hopes by stamping their dirty foot on the used popcorn paper packs so my plans were no longer feasible.

I got my N100 ticket for one Adam Sandler's comedy.
As I made to step into the hall, one of the attendants stopped me.
"May I see what's inside your bag."
"Why do you have to search me?" I began to para.
I looked around and noticed others entering other halls were not spared.
He explained that's the new company policy so no one goes in with any item that is not sold at silverbird. According to him, the price slash had led to an abuse of the arena as someone was caught eating from a foodflask of goat meat some days back and now there was a big rat they've been trying to kill in the cinema without success.

That was when my silly roasted corn decided to smell!
The attendant forcefully unzipped my half open bag and brought out my nonsense items one by one starting with the pear.
I just wanted the ground to swallow me. How was I going to start explaining izzz nottt myyy roasted cornnn eh? Abi the Lacsera that is meant only for traffic? Abi the mama ronke popcorn in my bag or is it the cheap caprisonne?

The guy was shocked. He put all my items into a basket and told me he would hand them back when I was done with the movie. If only he knew I dashed him all of it in my mind.

I couldn't concentrate on my movie. Adam Sandler was suddenly unfunny and annoying. All I thought of was how I was going to subtly dodge the attendant on my way out.
As soon as the movie ended, I blended in with crowd going out but the busybody attendant was still able to pick me out.
"Brother, you've forgotten your corn and pear oh" He said, while he handed me the Lacasera and other items in the full glare of all those hot boys and hot girls.
I collected it shamefully and avoided everyone eyes. My only consolation was no familiar face was present to witness that sort of embarrassment.