So last weekend I was all hyped up to go to Longitude with all the lads, weekend ticket was bought, massive bag of cans to sneak in and the sun was unbelievably hot. It had the makings of an amazing weekend! Friday and Saturday went great, it was the perfect level of drunk, aware enough to catch Kalkbrenner on Sat night which was immense, even had myself a decent looking bird.
Then it came to the Sunday, here’s where it all started to go wrong. most of us were fairly wrecked after 2 days of partying but my mate is such a big Kraftwerk fan and he was dying to see them, something about the 3D and the acid mixed together? I had a good few cans to get through so I sat myself in the sun and went to work, I wasn’t about to go and sit through fucking Japandroids was I?
A few cans turned into a lot and after a while I was getting the spinnies pretty bad so I went for a stumble to calm myself down, In the massive queue for the jacks I met this real nice bird called Jane*, actually no, I don’t even remember her name so that could be her real name for all I know? She was a little bit portly but I didn’t really mind and from what I recall she had an unbelievable accent, real nice northern one.
So we ended up chattin and before we knew it we were getting down to business in one of the portaloos, then all of a sudden this wave of I don’t know what came over me and I was really struggling to stay conscious, then… Bang!
I woke up in the medical tent with this absolutely massive farmer girl beside my holding my hand and a drip in my arm. Turns out I hit the deck with a serious bout of sunstroke taking Jane*, myself and the portaloo crashing to the ground, out of which I came spilling with Jane’s legs wrapped around mine and a whole load of blue toilet water. Would have been embarrassing if I was conscious. Oh yeh and the big bird beside me with the awful country accent…. Jane*, bit bigger then I thought!
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