No, this is not a joke. Not a piss take. Not an error. It’s actually pretty damn easy to have the best sex of your life. Whether you’re stuck in a sex rut,whether you’re with someone new who hasn’t yet learned what it is that makes you tick or have yet to experience that ‘wow’ moment during sex, then fear not. That time is here. Here are 9 steps to having the best sex of your life;
1) Do Some Research
Believe me when I say that this is a lot more fun than researching your next college assignment. Go online, delve into whatever ‘erotic novel’ is doing the rounds at the moment, Google some new and exciting sex moves. Above all, see what it is out there that grabs your interest and store these thoughts away for your next sex session. A sort of wank bank, if you will.
2) Know What Works For You
It takes a little while to understand the mechanics of the system that is you. What might have worked for your friend, may not necessarily work for you. So do some solo work, if you know what I mean. After all, who knows you better than you. After some hard graft, no pun intended, you’ll be perfectly placed to instruct your next partner in crime on the ‘to dos’ and the ‘don’t even fucking attempt that’.
3) Find An Open Minded Partner
In what is apparently ‘a sex obsessed society’, there are a surprisingly large number of prudes on the loose. That’s not condemning anyone, each to their own and all that, but if you want that mind blowing, best sex of your life experience, then you’re going to have to find someone open minded and up for anything, to accompany you on your journey. Although, if you’re in a relationship with someone about as adventurous as a pensioner in Lourdes, then I can’t really help you here. Unless you give them an ultimatum or you know, dump them…
4) Be Open Minded Yourself
To have the best sex of your life, you must, in fact you need to be as open minded as possible. There’s no point in thinking that you’re going to quite literally have the ride of your life, if your dirtiest thought wouldn’t make it into an episode of The Rugrats. Break out the filth, we say.
5) Loosen Up
If a drink, a dance off or an ‘arty film’ is what it takes to get you in the mood, then do it. To really, truly enjoy yourself, you must be comfortable, content and up for it. There’s no point going into it with a half arsed attitude. Go hell for leather.
6) Try Something New
Has there always been something that’s tickled your fancy? Something that you’ve been dying to try for yourself but you’ve never quite had the nerve to suggest it? Now’s your time, my friend. Whether it’s that position you’ve been mad to dabble in, getting frisky in somewhere risky (sorry, had to be done), role playing, sex toys or indulging in a little dirty talk, it’s often the new, unexpected experiences that make for the best sex, most memorable sex.
7) Find The Perfect Environment
You could be with the best sexpert around, be totally digging the whole thing, but if it’s in your shitty single bed with the broken springs (tut tut) and the neighbours banging around two meters away from you, it’s just not going to be the same. Yes, some might argue that if the sex is that amazing, you won’t even notice. But honestly, if you have a big bed, walls to be pushed against and perhaps a shower to jump into, well, it’ll take it to a whole other level.
8) Get Fully Naked
What could be hotter than being too randy to get undressed fully? Am, being fully naked perhaps? Men, take off your fucking socks, women, rip off that old t-shirt, it’s time to flash the flesh. Fuck feeling insecure, fat, whatever other bullshit you have running through your head, everyone loves a bit of skin on show. Or a lot. Clothes just get in the way, after all.
9) Talk Your Way Through It
There’s nothing, NOTHING sexier than hearing that your hard work is going down well. If you’re not fully comfortable with the idea of dirty talk (seriously, you should try that shit), then a few moans well placed here and there will do the trick. If, on the other hand, you’re up for some dirty talk, then give direction, compliment and unleash those hidden fantasies that you have locked up.Who ever had the best sex of their life in silence, after all?
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