You’ve just got it on and engaged in the epic act of fornication. Congratulations. You’ll probably find these following post-coital thoughts swimming around your head after the initial orgasmic blur has lifted.
1. Girl: I just had sex!
Guy: And it felt so good.
2. Girl: OK how do I ask him to get off me without sounding like a bitch?
Guy: Am I crushing her right now?
3. Girl: God I’m sweaty.
Guy: I think I sweated all over her, hope she doesn’t notice.
4. Girl: That was awesome / That was so crap.
Guy: That was awesome.
5. Girl: Should I tell him?
Guy: That was so awesome.
6. Girl: He should probably take off that condom.
Guy: Should I take off this condom? Ugh its so much effort though.
7. Girl: I think I just need to lie here for a second.
Guy: I think I’d rather just lie here.
8. Girl: He’s still breathing heavily. I must have rocked his world!
Guy: Oh that was amazing…
9. Girl: Is he sleeping??
Guy: Crap nearly fell asleep, I don’t want to be that guy.
10. Girl: Wait, where is he going?
Guy: I really should take off this condom.
11. Girl: Oh, the condom, right.
Guy: Careful, careful, careful…don’t want any cum on the floor.
12. Girl: There’s something very sexy about seeing him walk around naked.
Guy: Why is she looking at me? Where the fuck are my boxers?
13. Girl: My boobs hurt.
Guy: Oh my god she’s rubbing her breasts, if I wasn’t so tired…
14. Girl: God I’m thirsty.
Guy: Jesus I’m thirsty.
15. Girl: I should go pee. I don’t want to get a UTI.
Guy: She’s going to the bathroom again? Girls have such small bladders.
16. Girl: Where are my clothes? How did we get them all over the room?
Guy: Christ she’s hot naked.
17. Girl: I hope none of his roommates are up.
Guy: Would it be rude if I fell asleep while she’s gone?
18. Girl: I bet my hair is a mess.
Guy: her hair’s a mess, how did that even happen?
19. Girl: I’ll fix it in the bathroom.
Guy: Why is she taking so long in the bathroom?
20. Girl: What now? Do we cuddle? Spoon? Sleep?
Guy: Should I cuddle her, would that be weird?
21. Girl: Oh, he’s going to cuddle me, yay.
Guy: I’m so sleepy.
22. Girl: I wonder how it was for him?
Guy: Christ that really wore me out. But that time when she did with that move…that was amazing.
23. Girl: Maybe I should ask…’So how was it for you?’
Guy: ‘Ammm…good?’ is that an OK thing to say?
24. Girl: W.T.F. does that even mean??
Guy: ‘It was really good, how was it for you?’
25. Girl: ‘Worth repeating.’ Who’s a sexy bed vixen?
Guy: That’s hot, I hope she doesn’t mean right now. Now is time for sleeping.
26. Girl: I wonder if his arm has gone to sleep. That can’t be comfortable.
Guy: I think my arm is dead. Would she be pissed if I moved it?
27. Girl: I kind of wish he couldn’t cuddle me right now. He’s really warm, too warm, and sweaty.
Guy: Ugh its too hot…
28. Girl: Would it be rude to check my phone right now? He’s sleeping so he might not notice.
Guy: Is she sleeping? Could I check my phone?
29. Girl: I wonder did his housemates hear us?
Guy: zzzz
30. Girl: What’s the plan for breakfast?
Guy: I’m hungry.
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