Picking the right girl is a scary task – well, at least for me it is! Honestly, the whole concept of monogamy frightens me. I mean come on; being with one person forever?! But it only scares me because I’m afraid of growing bored of that person after a certain amount of time passes by, and what then? Choosing the right girl is like walking into a modern candy store – there’s so many different kinds to choose from, but you’ll never know what they’re really like unless you open the wrapper and taste for yourself! Anyway, if you’re like me, here’s the list of girls you’ll date and the one girl who you’ll want to end up with in the end.
7. The extremely high maintenance girl.
This is a girl who requires a lot of your time, effort and money. She takes great pride in her appearance which has its obvious ups and downs: when you’re out together she always looks unbelievable and you’re the envy of all your guy friends, but you’re late to the party more often than not because she takes so damn long getting ready! You’ll be with her because of her physical beauty but it will soon fall apart once you realise that you don’t really have anything in common. The high maintenance girl is great for a casual fling, but you don’t want to get serious with her or bring her home to your parents – it never lasts.
6. The cute, timid girl.
She’s super shy, and really quiet with you at the start. You both have an attraction to each other and want to pursue this avenue further. Getting to know her is a very slow process, because she’s so withdrawn which makes it hard for you to drag her out of that shell. There’s a few awkward silences and nervous giggles in the beginning, but once you’ve both let your guard down, you realise that you get along quite well! She’ll slowly become more outgoing and active with you, but she’ll still be that shy, timid girl in front of strangers and new people – but that’s just her personality. It’s cute, and sort of endearing. I can’t pinpoint what exactly will go wrong with this girl, but her main “problem” (if I can be ignorant enough to label it that) is she’s TOO nice. There’s not enough excitement or danger to keep you interested and the relationship alive, and you’ll sort of just drift apart, sadly.
5. The bossy chatterbox.
This girl will more than likely be your first love. You probably know her from an early age and began dating in your teens. She’s pretty attractive, very confident, and the life of the party when she’s with her girl friends. You don’t realise this in the beginning because you’re so smitten but she never shuts up! And the longer you’re with her, the worse it gets. That, and she develops this control freak personality like Lois from ‘Malcolm In The Middle’ and grows supremely attached to you over time. You’ll soon grow tired of her constant talking and nagging in your ear – it’s like being in a relationship with your mom! Eventually you’ll break her heart by calling it off but it’s the best decision for both of you. It’s rarely a good idea to stay with your first love – you’ve both got to get out there and explore some more.
4. The raunchy bitch.
Without a doubt, she’s the raunchiest girl you’ve been with and does stuff in the bedroom that your ex’s wouldn’t even DREAM about! She’s a horny devil, just like you, and you absolutely love it. On the other hand, she’s got such a sassy attitude and an unwelcome sense of self-righteousness. She demands to be treated like a princess, except when she’s in the bedroom. This girl has a select, core group of friends, similar to the ones from ‘Mean Girls’ but the majority of girls will hate her guts. She doesn’t make the best first impressions and the imminent arguments and constant bickering will eventually lead the two of you to break up. However, the difference between breaking up with this girl and all the rest of them is that she is the only one that you will keep going back to for more, even after the fire has long since disintegrated. It’s mainly because she’s such a fireball under the sheets, but you don’t want to end up with her. Fuck no!
3. The experienced, older woman.
You’ll unexpectedly bump into this woman at some point in your early 20s and she’ll immediately seize your interest. Her life experience, intelligence and aura will hold a certain power over you and you’ll HAVE to have her. She’s completely different to all the rest of the girls you’ve dated up until that point – and that’s part of her allure. When you’re together it doesn’t feel like there’s a big age difference between you both. You think: “If she was my age or I was hers, I’d definitely try and make this work.” What started as a passionate fling leads into something more serious and before you know it, you’re in a relationship without the title. It’ll be heartbreaking for both of you to mutually let one another go, but the sad reality is that you both want different things and living through different stages in your respective lives.
2. The friend with benefits.
You and this girl were most likely childhood friends. You lived on the same street, went to the same school, hung out innocently and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company for years – then she grew a set of boobs, and you started having “feelings” down there. You remain friends for a while before one random night you end up making out or having sex. And it’s good! The term “friends with benefits” gets tossed into the mix. From here your relationship can go one of two ways: you have sex regularly and fall for each other which blossoms into a beautiful relationship, OR you both can’t handle the jealousy of others and sadly drift apart and out of each other’s lives for good. Unfortunately, in 99% of occasions it’s usually the latter case.
1. And finally; your future wife.
You may or may not have met her yet – this girl is a rare breed but she’s definitely out there. She’s absolutely unbelievable. Everything you’ve ever wanted in a girl and more. For starters, she’s extraordinarily pretty, and takes pride in her appearance but doesn’t go overboard. She’s nice to everyone she meets, you’ve got so much in common that talking to her is so effortless and naturally easy. She’s also intelligent and driven which, as a knock-on effect, pushes you to want to better yourself. This girl is the one who you want to take things slow with and not risk losing, because she’s the type of girl that doesn’t come around too often. Basically, she’s a real catch and your perfect woman. Good luck!
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