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Friday, 17 October 2014

A One Night Stand; What She’s Saying and What I’m Thinking

As if these weren’t already very obvious… But this is what most some guys are thinking during a night of stranger sex.

Her: We’re totally not going to sleep together tonight by the way

Me: Jackpot, I’m in. 


Her: I don’t normally do this…

Me: Well you certainly seem like you so…


Her: Do you’ve a condom?

Me: Really….?


Her: Do you like this?

Me: Quite clearly I do so please shut up 


Her: How about I go on top?

Me: YESS!


Her: Don’t cum

Me: I just came


Her: Did you cum?

Me: Why are you asking me this!


Her: Why won’t you kiss me?

Me: BECAUSE YOU HAVE MY FUCKING CUM IN YOUR MOUTH


Her: Why won’t you kiss me……

Me: Please can you just let me sleep


Her: Let’s not talk about this with anyone

Me: I just saw you take a selfie and put it in your whatsapp group so you can fuck off with that one


Her: Is it okay if I use your bathroom

Me: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!!


Her: Can I borrow your hoodie, I’ll give it back….

Me: Neither of us believe that but just take it. 


Her: Do you’ve money for a taxi…

Me: Take whatever just leave. 

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